Rewards: Not Just for Kids!

Santa Cruz boardwalk

Children are often congratulated and rewarded for their efforts. Adults also need reinforcement to continue challenging tasks in their best interest. This includes decluttering and organizing tasks.
 
Envision a baby learning to walk. He stands up, attempts a step, falls, and tries again. His parents cheer him on, even when he falters. This baby is determined to walk, and his parents lovingly give him positive reinforcement as he learns. Eventually, they are all quite excited when he takes those first steps. The parents do not berate him for falling; they continue to encourage him to stand up again.
 
At some point in our lives, we stop getting excited about our steps in the right direction and instead start focusing on the falls along the way. This focus happens for many logical reasons but is counterproductive. Try a different tactic and congratulate yourself on each decluttering step. If this feels too difficult, start with rewards instead. 
 
Various authors have written about the importance of rewards in establishing habits or reaching goals. The beginning and middle of a decluttering project can feel like a big slog if we hold off on rewards until we reach the final goal. Why not increase motivation throughout the project by giving yourself rewards throughout the process? It will likely result in a dopamine hit that creates a cycle of craving to experience that reward again.
 
When picking rewards for your efforts, ensure that they:

• Take place immediately after your decluttering session. If we wait too long, our brains will not connect the effort with the reward, and the reward loses its potency.  

 

• Are easy to implement. A vacation is an excellent reward for lots of effort, but it generally takes too much legwork to act as an immediate reinforcement of the desired effort. 

 

• Are only given after decluttering sessions. If your reward is ice cream, you will commit to only eating ice cream after taking the desired action. Otherwise, the reward is ineffectual.

 

• Do not hamper other goals. This takes a bit of creative thought. Many go-to goals are food-oriented, which can wreak havoc on weight loss and maintenance goals. If weight is of concern, use this type of reward sparingly. I recently experimented with exorbitantly expensive Magnum ice cream bars. I only eat one after a full day of solid effort at a particularly challenging task. Half measures and easier tasks do not count. 

 
Here are some non-food rewards to get you started:  

• Go on a guilt-free walk after decluttering. (Some clients say they feel guilty going for a walk because there is too much to do in the house.)

 

• Drive to a new neighborhood to take your walk. Viewing new scenery can be uplifting and sustain our brain’s need for novelty.

 

• Take a cue from kids and use stickers. Since the market now contains so many great stickers, you might enjoy picking one out and adding it to your daily planner after a decluttering session.

 

• Buy yourself a bouquet. Better yet, purchase one flower for each day you declutter. By the end of the week, you will have a bouquet that reminds you of your efforts.

 

• Rent a movie on a streaming service.

 

• Flip through a magazine. Even better, permit yourself to flip through it decadently by only reading articles of immediate interest. Then, carelessly toss it in the recycling bin, even though you did not read each article. This reward keeps magazines at a manageable level.

 

• Purchase a Hulu or Amazon subscription to a cable station or TV series to watch guilty-pleasure shows. 

 

• Preschedule a service you do not usually indulge in, like a massage or manicure. Preschedule it to take place after a predetermined decluttering session.  

 

• If you wish to get outdoors more frequently, grab a blanket and head to a local park to relax.

 

• Head to a lovely coffee shop or a cozy bar to read if the weather is gloomy. (Most clients have a large volume of books they hope to read.)

 

• Ask a friend or loved one to hug you after your organizing session. Research shows that endorphins kick in after ten seconds, so a long hug can feel great.

 

• Preschedule a special outing with a friend. Not only will you have something fun to look forward to, but you will also have the bonus of external accountability because your friend is holding time on her calendar for you.

 

• Take a local day trip. After working on a project I had pondered for quite some time, I rewarded myself with a day trip to Santa Cruz. I meandered around the boardwalk, rode the Giant Dipper, window-shopped downtown, and then drove home. It was an enjoyable day, and I reinforced my efforts by reminding myself that the excursion was all due to my hard work.

 

• I am unfamiliar with the self-help personality Mel Robbins, but her high-five mirror trick works, even though it feels hokey at first. Look at yourself in the mirror, earnestly congratulate yourself for your efforts, and give yourself a high five. I was dubious, but can now attest to its effectiveness. It feels good to give ourselves props for our efforts. Plus, it only takes a minute to do.

​What activity do you generally avoid because it feels too decadent? That could be a great reward to put in rotation.
 
Do you have any unusual or wonderfully successful rewards? Add them to the Comments section below so other readers can also give them a whirl. 

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